I hate it when people say shit about what they have convinced themselves I mean when I say something. I also hate when people think that they know every motivation that I have for every action that I take and they know the consequence of every little thing that will come of it. Christina and I broke up on Saturday night because I felt that we needed space from each other for a while and we need to get our lives together in order to be the best for each other that we can. She 'knows' all these reasons that i had for breaking up with her (none of which are true!) It also wasn't really only me doing the breaking because she did not say anything against any of it and when i asked what she thought i got the response that i do most of the time "............". If she really had a problem with it then she should have said something about it then and not now once it has been going on for a while.
I want nothing more than to be with her right now. I can feel my heart slowly dying because i am without the only person that has made me happy in a very long time. I hope that this break does not last for very long but i have a feeling that it will be a while. Every time that i get around her (yes we still hang out, which is very wierd) the only thing that i want to do is hold her and kiss her and be with her forever. but then the other day on the phone we ended up fighting just like when we were together so i don't know if being apart is even really changing anything between us. I wish that everything could go back how it was a few months ago and stay there forever.
That is just how i feel i could be wrong.
Okay now that the rambling is over....